Cain Carroll: Awakenings Blog

Alternation and Continuity

2010-10-07T10:49:00.000-07:00

Alternation and continuity are two infallible laws of nature.

How long any given experience (thought, emotion, sensation, relationship, etc.) will endure is difficult, if not impossible, to ascertain. The speed at which things change is similarly elusive. There is no mathematical equation or metaphysical system that perfectly explains how alternation and continuity work. We only know that they keep going round and round.

We get into trouble when we fail to accept them both.

Seems simple, but...

When circumstances are pleasant, we side with continuity, and hope the law of alternation will not act too quickly. When conditions are unpleasant, we become devotees of alternation; hoping time will somehow magically speed up if we pray, visualize, and wish hard enough.

It never works.

Chasing our preferred version of reality only makes our body/mind an inhospitable place to be.

If it’s peace we seek, then it is enough to regularly contemplate the fact that things continue for a time, and then change into something else. As cultivators, we make a practice out of appreciating the finer points of alternation and continuity (ie. birth/death, inhale/exhale, eat/shit, wake/sleep). Contemplation, in this sense, is not an attempt to understand why, when, or how, but to completely experience that these laws function.

The only tangible way to do this is by fully embracing the experience we are actually having.

Endless Strings of Marigolds

2010-09-30T17:45:00.000-07:00

Gurus, sanghas, kulas
Koshas, yamas, tapas, malas
Shaktipat and weekend empowerments

Sutras, tantras, slokas
Mantras, chakras, siddhis,
Diksha and samadhi trance

Koshas, bandhas, kriyas
Twisted sweating bodies
On purple rubber mats

Temples adorned with
Endless strings
Of marigolds

Saffron clad devotees
Thick with pretense
And aloof spiritual pride

An eternity of chasing
Transcendent ideals
Ever beyond reach

Ten thousand lifetimes of striving
To attain
Luminous space

Native mind
Stuffed with clever assumptions
And glimmering dogmas

Original clarity obscured
By the thick fog
Of dharma

Phony smiles and contrived bliss
Can’t hide the ache
Of knowing your own lie

Failure follows effort
Like a shadow
Wherever it goes

All this…

When completion is inherent
In the way
Things already are.

Following the Signal

2010-09-28T15:54:00.000-07:00

When you feel an authentic pull from your center to move in a certain direction, go! It doesn’t matter that you can't see the entire picture; how all the details play out.

It's rare that we know exactly how our endevors will unfold. Inspiration normally doesn't come with a detailed flow chart mapping every twist and turn (although it does happen sometimes).

Failing to act on our inner calling because of a lack of information is one of the many ways we clutch to a conditioned "safe place."

When excuses arise, penetrate them lovingly with your wisdom sword. Reveal what is behind. Find out if it is true to move forward, or not. Maybe you honestly don't know. This is viable, too.

Answering your own question without self-deception is what counts. Old friends, mentors, and the ancient practice of divination (Yijing, in the Chinese tradition) can be most insightful.

It boils down to this: Can we embody what we are, without being confused by false ambition or fearful reluctance.

If it's true to step into your vision, fear may still be biting at your heels. Don't retreat; don't belligerently charge. Instead, step forth with keen attentiveness, and inner sensitivity to changing conditions.

If you lose the signal, stop. Breathe. Stay open to non-knowing.

No rush.

Vision will resume; a magnetic pull will emerge again. When it does, proceed mindfully, without fixation on results.

What a delight!

To be fully engaged in the process of walking unabashedly into the unknown territory of each new moment...

This is fulfillment unto itself.

One Sided Coin

2010-09-28T14:34:00.000-07:00

Thoughts and words never quite represent reality as it is.

This is largely because we can only explain one side of things at a time. If the positive is spoken of, the negative is ignored. If the negative is referenced, the positive is left out.

Speaking and thinking are always one sided.

You can try to stop dividing the world by conceptualizing it as undivided. This is more of the same: you, your concepts, the world. You may argue that this can be resolved by adopting the point of view of oneness. However, the moment you do this, two-ness pops up; even if you try to include it as part of oneness. If you argue non-duality, duality appears right next to it. If “everything” is hinted at, then “nothing” comes to mind an instant later.

The tangible seems to obscure the view of the intangible: conceptual mind is a one sided coin.

There is only one way to avoid the trap of fracturing our own experience by continuing to insist that reality can be understood:

Embodiment.

Grasping at Happiness is Futile

2010-09-28T13:30:00.000-07:00

Happiness is a changing feeling that comes and goes with circumstances that appear to coincide with it. Since circumstances are largely out of our control, and constantly in flux, our happiness is always waxing and waning. It swells when we feel good (physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually) and declines when we don’t. Nobody can feel happy ALL the time, because conditions (internal or external) can never be controlled to that degree. Trying will make you crazy.

The problem is that social conditioning, especially in America, has us believe that there is something wrong with you if you don’t don a perma-smile. Actually it’s totally natural NOT to: the sky is not always sunny, flowers aren’t always blooming, and even cats and dogs get the blues. Without sadness, pain, dissatisfaction, broken heartedness, confusion, etc., we wouldn’t be human (and there certainly would not be any good art or music!).

Feelings come and go like changing seasons. It’s our reluctance to fully appreciate all of them that makes us feel divide inside. We were taught to feel bad about not feeling good. We learned this from a neurotic culture that is pathologically addicted to unattainable ideals (flawless beauty, eternal youth, perfect happiness).

We can un-learn it!

Like removing corrupted software from our CPU…Delete program!

When we are in harmony with our life we feel happy much of the time. But it’s also possible to be at peace when dissatisfaction, pain, loneliness, confusion, sadness, or any challenging feeling comes along for a visit. It requires that we simply let go of our resistance to feeling what we feel. In other words, if we can fully accept what ever comes without judgment, criticism, or the need to understand why, then we find a sense of ease opening up inside us.

That way, we can be free to feel dissatisfied with out being anxious about it. Feeling less anxious, we have less dissatisfaction. The whole thing unwinds itself.

Admittedly, this takes quite a bit of courage, and the willingness to get comfortable feeling uncomfortable. But if we do this repeatedly, moment after moment, day after day, our inner conflict melts like a chunk of ice into a flowing stream. We discover a basic joy and peace that is available to us all the time, even amid the changing tides of our thoughts, feelings, sensations, and circumstances.